"... if you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best..." Marilyn Monroe

Yes, I know....the quote is a bit cliche, even for me....but it captures exactly how I feel right now.

I don't even know where to start...

I'm angry. I'm hurt.

Dating....men....the whole "trying to find someone" thing....

...love...

....it's become some big game, that somehow I never learned the rules to.

It's so infuriating that you can date someone for a while....think you're getting to know them....trust them more and more....let them in.....let down your guard....see them.....really see them, flaws and all....and accept them....but when they see just one part of you they don't like, they bolt.

Why do we (women) settle?

The double standard of the dating game really pisses me off....that after a month of dating he can break wind or scratch his balls in public, and we're supposed to just be like "guys will be guys"....(as if it's remotely attractive)...we're not to give it a second thought....we just accept it...

.....that he can spend hours on end talking about his fantasy baseball team and how disappointed he is in so-in-so's performance, or how he needs to trade this guy for that for whatever reason ... and we listen intently....(we aren't remotely interested, but just enjoy being with him)

...and then....we share with him our most vulnerable self....stressed out-near tears- just in need of someone listening ...or perhaps just a shoulder to cry on-- we're dismissed......we're just being emotional.....we must be PMSing....we're over-reacting.....reality is too much for him to handle....(we should have been clued in to this fact with his fantasy obsession)....

How is it we (women) are supposed to accept him (men)...every ball-scratching, belching in public, sports is life, wind-breaking part-- without question(!).....but we aren't allowed the same in return?

We aren't allowed to be human: If we're angry we're a bitch. If we're sad, we're PMSing....if we break under the stress of trying to fulfill our roles as mother, daughter, wife, sister, employee, student, etc...etc...we must be crazy....or at the very least be labeled as "bad".

Why is it that men just get to "be"...and we have to "be"...conditionally?

Constantly critiqued, judged, and monitored for the slightest defect....