@#$%!!!!!

I have been looking online for a therapist in the area that does DBT.....it's about the only type of therapy that I have heard of that has any luck treating self-injurious behavior. I have had no luck. I went on buslist....(a SI support chatroom) to see if anyone has any ideas and they suggested that I e-mail someone in my program....

I did.

Now I'm dealing with the anxiety....the asshole voice in my head....and a naseating urge to self-destruct......I'm not actually sure if the nausea is from the urge or trying to resist.....I suspect the latter. I feel like such an idiot!!!

What's worse, in the move, I have misplaced.....or perhaps accidentally threw away?....my sharps....I just spent an hour riffling through boxes like a psycho looking for them....I really need release.....

First thing after work....I need to hit wally world.