Dread

So I have finally found a therapist....I think I have....I haven't met him yet....not really keen on seeing a dude, but whatever. He is taking new patients...

I e-mailed him and he called me back the next day. I got my insurance cards finally. As of Monday I will be fully insured...but who knows if they will authorize a mental health visit.

I described to him my anxiety....leaving "little" details out....more of a summary than the nitty-gritty. If he works out, I'm sure I will trust him enough to tell him all my dirty little secrets.

My anxiety is rolling. Taking over. I fear getting in to the parking lot for my first visit and chickening out. I fear him opening the door and me having a panic attack right then and there. I fear he will feel he cannot help me. I fear this whole experience and all the unknowable that goes along with it.