Found an old (okay, like maybe three, four years old) notebook. I used it throughout high school and through the first part of my undergrad education. Started reading it...it amazes me that deep down...none of it has changed. I'd just gotten good at hiding from those feelings...keeping busy so I didn't have time to sit and think. Now....that's not so much an option....not since I moved to Isolationsville...
So here's a the one that resonated with me tonight....
****Caution: Contents hereafter may be triggering****
~SilentCry~
a drop of blood
a parting of skin
a solemn vow
--never do it again
this is my life
this is my sorrow
this is my yesterday, today
and tomorrow
free me someone
free me anyone
save me from this pit of shame
see me someone
see me anyone
see me at my morbid games
I have fallen
I am lost
I am hanging by a thread
my pain I hope to assuage
I express my soul
the razor rules my life
it has me in its control
my body bears its mark
my heart bears its name
refuge is a dream
it always ends the same
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this is amazing...sums up the self abuse...the cutting...the self harm in a way that defines it so well...Stay strong ok. Sarah
ReplyDeleteYou are brave to share with us. These words are so few and yet they express so well your struggle. I feel your pain in every sentence. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThis is a song you might relate to.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diaHnF-zfEg