New Job- Day three

So I think I may survive my dive back into the working world. I still don't have a sitter in civilization, but my cousin agreed to watch the kiddo for a reasonable price. I have to wait for my first paycheck to see if I can get some assistance with childcare, but I will be waiting a while as we get paid monthly...and I missed the beginning of this pay period by quite a bit...

Still haven't worked on my paper that's due next week. It's four pages on feminist theory in family therapy...I will let you know if I discover any enlightening information. I dreading doing it though...so mostly I will probably just bitch. (Hey, at least I'm honest.)

I have noticed that the socialization that comes with working has started to bring back some of the better parts of "the old me." I don't have(....well...okay I still have but not as bad) socially-induced panic attacks. I actually had to cold-call about 30 people today and managed not to fumble for words or stutter through about 50% of the calls. Kinda proud of that.

And the doe-eyed awkwardness has mostly disappeared. I have been deemed "the organizer" by my colleagues....kind of ironic considering how chaotic my life is...if they only knew....strike that!...I would evaporate if they found out. I have been wearing long sleeves the past two days in 80 degree heat just so I don't have to make up stories about my scars....They must not find out...

This month is going to be rough, financially. I'm not sure we have food enough to get by...and I don't have enough $ to change that. *sigh*....guess I should stop eating and save it for the kiddo. I get stamps...but have already ran through them this month...not that it's really enough to feed two on...yet alone a growing kiddo who is going through a growth spurt and constantly hungry.

I have been too exhausted to SI...though the thoughts are constantly there...prolly due to the transitional anxiety I'm experiencing. I have been sleeping better...though I am still exhausted throughout the day...and I have been having such crazy dreams. I need to save a few minutes each morning to blog them so I can get some input about them. I'm interested as to what they could mean....other than I am completely bonkers...