Went to see my mother today. She lives about an hour and a half away, but I haven't seen her since Christmas. It was good. My two youngest brothers (youngest of 5, of which I am the oldest) are still at home, and they were interesting. Once upon a time, my whole life was my siblings. Now, I rarely see them.
Anyway, they were quite impressed with my mad Guitar Hero skills. Oh the things siblings bond over. :)
Decided to come home tonight because the weather up that-a-way was supposed to be pretty crappy by the time we needed to leave tomorrow to go to my niece's birthday party (she's my niece on my dad's side o' the family). The trip home that usually takes just under two hours took almost four. The roads were completely snow and slush covered. (Go figure, first day of spring brought a couple of inches of snow....where is that global warming when you need it anyhow??)
Getting out in this weather, especially to drive home when there is a perfectly safe and warm bed at hand, would be anxiety inducing for most people.....for me--not so much. I like the challenge...the adventure. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those people who drives a four-wheel drive vehicle through this crap like it's a sunny day, only to end up in a ditch a mile from their house.....I take my time. I just like driving in semi-blizzard/hazardous conditions...Maybe my true calling is being an ice road trucker or some such?
No SI today. Though my head felt like it was in a cloud all day. I'm sure mom though I was on something. Shit, about two hours into the visit I was beginning to wonder if I was on something. I couldn't think straight. I'd start say something and get lost halfway through the sentence. Could be because I was up late with my niece and kiddo....or the fact that dad and step-mom are at eachother's throats again.
Took the kids out to visit them last night and step-mom was a drunken sniffly mess in the bathroom. Totally freaked the kids out. Dad had been drinking too, but he's a happy drunk....she's the one you gotta watch. She's so angry at dad for cheating all those years...(a story that will have to wait for another day, another entry). I don't blame her, but it's like leave him or get over it! Quit being a drama queen. Getting drunk and nutzo solves no one's problems....but hey, who am I to talk?
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I like getting to know you better. Please be good to you. This is my 2nd best tool, I want to share it with you. I AM ENOUGH! YOu are enough. Take care of you. Enjoy that little one of yours, don't feel guilty for all of the families misery, that is their choosing. Or at least acknowledge the guilt and choose to let yourself live your own life. YOU are worth it.
ReplyDelete♥
That is a tool of mine too...I completely understand the fogginess.
ReplyDeletehang in there and keep fighting.